What “I Want to Go Home” Often Means in Dementia Care

Few moments are as confusing—or heartbreaking—as hearing a loved one with dementia say, “I want to go home,” when they are already sitting in their own living room.

Families often ask:

• Did I do something wrong?
• Are they unhappy here?
• Should we actually take them somewhere else?

If this is happening in your family, you’re not alone. And more importantly—you’re not failing them.

What your loved one is asking for is rarely a physical place. It’s often something deeper.

What "Home" Often Means in Dementia

In dementia, words don’t always mean what they used to. When someone says they want to go home, they are often expressing an emotional need, not a literal destination.

“Home” can represent:

• Safety
• Comfort
• Familiarity
• A time when life felt simpler or more secure
• A version of themselves that felt capable, confident, or needed

As dementia progresses, the brain gradually loses access to recent memories—but emotional memories from early life often remain intact much longer.

So when your loved one asks to go home, they may be time-shifting to:

• A childhood home
• A first apartment
• A time when they were parenting young children
• A place where they felt grounded and understood

They aren’t confused about where they are.
They’re missing how life used to feel.

The Science Behind This Moment

From a neurological perspective, dementia affects the hippocampus (memory and orientation) earlier than it affects the brain’s emotional centers.

This leads to:

• Time-shifting: the brain retrieves older memories more easily than recent ones
• Emotional recall without context: feelings surface without clear timelines
• Loss of orientation, not loss of emotion

Your loved one may feel a strong sense of longing or unease, but no longer have the words to explain it accurately.
“I want to go home” becomes the closest phrase available.

Why Correcting Them Often Makes Things Worse

A common instinct is to respond with logic:

• “You are home.”
• “We’ve lived here for 20 years.”
• “Your parents passed away a long time ago.”

While well-intended, these responses can increase anxiety, frustration, or sadness. When we correct facts instead of addressing feelings, the emotional need goes unmet—and the distress often escalates.

What to Say Instead

The goal isn’t to convince.
The goal is to comfort.

Try responses that acknowledge the emotion underneath the words:

• “You’re missing home. Tell me about it.”
• “It sounds like you want to feel safe.”
• “I’m right here with you.”
• “You’re not alone. You’re safe.”

Then redirect gently toward something grounding:

• A familiar activity
• Music from their younger years
• A favorite blanket, photo, or snack
• A short walk or change of scenery

You’re meeting them where their brain is, not where yours is.

How Thoughtful Memory Care Makes a Difference

At Full Bloom Memory Care^®, we train caregivers to recognize that moments like this are communication—not confusion.

Instead of correcting or rushing past the moment, we:

• Listen for emotional cues
• Validate feelings without reinforcing fear
• Use reminiscence, music, and sensory grounding
• Create environments that feel calm, familiar, and safe

When emotional needs are met, the question often fades on its own.

If you’d like guidance on how to respond in these moments, or want to learn how specialized dementia care can ease emotional distress, we’re here to help.